Thoughts on: Raising Lions by Joe Newman

Children of today are confident and powerful, This calls for powerful boundaries.
.
The phase of Omnipotence (14 months to around 2 years) is when children haven’t yet discovered that others have willpower too. A stage of conflict. .
Today’s children exits this phase less fully than previous generations. The longer a child stay in this phase after the age of 3 the higher the risk of developing behaviors what could be diagnosed as a disorder. Something we in the west likes to threat with chemicals. 💊
.
Joes doesn’t think this have to be the case. Instead should coach kids through the omnipotence phase by setting firm boundaries with clear consequences.
.
📝 “This is just the way he/she is.” Maybe not. Look at the childs environment. Is there anything that encourages the child’s behavior? How are the adults acting?
.
📝 “The accumulation of so many moments when adults has yielded their wishes and desires to the wishes and desires of the child results in an imbalance towards children developing power over connection.”
.
📝 Rather small consequence immediately, than big consequences in the future. A 1-min pause now is a better consequence than canceling a cinema visit next week.
.
📝 Children need to learn to deal with the frustrations of not getting what they want.
.
📝 If your home is a place of unlimited choices, then don’t be surprised if your kid doesn’t like school!
.
📝 “Giving children choices about some things is fine. But there should be many things during a child’s day when they don’t have a choice.”
.
📝 It’s common to reason too much with toddlers. For toddlers action mean more than words.

💥 IMPLEMENTATION:
I picked up this book because I looked help me with some issues I had with my 4 year old sons behavior; Not listening, hitting and throwing tantrums for not getting what he wanted.
I used the technique from this book— the action-consequences, pauses, and even holding when my son threw real tantrums. It really worked and we have a much calmer home situation now. Most importantly, my son seems more calm, happy and confident. 😀


⭐️ TAKEAWAY:
The parents job is to make sure inappropriate behavior has no reward. Be the coach not the opponent. Most importantly: “Always do what you say, 100 percent of the time”.
.
⚖️ VERDICT:
To the point and filled with great examples. A worthy read for parents and teachers who struggle with behavior problems. But be aware: I’m easily impressed, especially when it’s the first time I read something in a new genre. I guess if this book worked in -8 years or so 18 years or so!😂 .
4/5
.
⁉️Do you have children?!⁉️
.
📷: @nixiegraham

Thoughts on: Stillness is the Key


Holidays keys to stillness has been inspired by the wisest people and the best of literature, and gives prime examples of people who embodies them—and those who fail to do so.
.
There is not anything new here. Rather the opposite is true. The sources he draws from are old, even ancient. But the book doesn’t feel dated. Instead it feels timeless and yet very applicable to our modern life.
.
⭐️ FIND STILLNESS ⭐️
.
📱Limit Your Inputs:
Napoleon was always weeks behind on his mail. He was surprised how many urgent problems had already been resolved ones got to them.
.
📖 Read Deeply and Regularly:
Tolstoy: “I cant believe how some people can live without communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on planet earth.”
.
💪🏻 Act Bravely:
“High minded thoughts and inner work is one thing, but all that matters is what you do”. The health of our spiritual ideals depends on what we do with our bodies in moments of truth. I need to work on this one…
.
👁 Be present:
“Be present. And if you have had trouble with this in the past, That’s ok. That’s the nice thing about the present, it keeps showing up to give you a second chance.”
.
🔁 Rituals
“A master has a system, a master turns the ordinary into the sacred. And so must we.”
What’s rituals are sacred to you? What systems keep you on track?
.
🌅 Notice Beauty:
there is beauty in..”a floor filled with a kids toys arranged in the chaos of exhausted enjoyment.” This mindset will come in handy on my parents leave. 😂
.
🏕 Solitude with Purpose:
Take some time to be alone with important work, or just to study a subject deeply, or ponder? 💥 Action: Booked my next Reflection Week for Sep.
.
📦 Get rid of stuff!
Reducing your needs to zero, and you are truly free; and nothing can be taken away from you. (But don’t go full Diogenes!)
.
🤤 Beware of Desire:
Desire is like a hydra; satisfy one, and two more grows in its place.
Epicurus: “Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.”
.
⚖️ VERDICT:
To be re-read yearly. It snapped me out of the busyness of everyday life and provided perspective to my priorities.
.
4/5
.
.
⁉️How do you cultivate stillness in your life?⁉️
.
📸 @veraciousreader (Instagram)

For more reviews and book tips check out my reading lists

Thoughts on: Atomic Habits by James Clear

Let’s face it, successful people and unsuccessful people have the same goals. It’s the systems and strategies you put in pace that makes the difference between the two.

——

“You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the levels of your systems.”

—-

James Clears book is the ultimate guide to the WHYs and HOWs of those systems.

——

🎭 IDENTITY:

Improvements are only temporary until they become who you are. You are not just going to read a book; you are going to become a reader. You are not going to run a Marathon; you are going to become a runner.

——

🏞 ENVIRONMENT:

Make bad habits difficult to perform and good habits easy: prep your gym bag the day before and put by the front door. Bring a book everywhere you go. Move candy and snacks from the kitchen to the cellar. Remove the batteries from the remote after watching tv if your struggle with bingeing.

——

🚦 SYSTEMS:

Stack new habits on top existing ones! “After I brush my teeth, I floss”

“After I finish’s my morning coffee, l journal for 5 min.”

——-

🔁 REPETITION:

Don’t ask yourself HOW LONG it takes to build a habit but HOW MANY TIMES it takes to build a habit. Start small and get the reps in.

——-

📈 PROGRESS:

One of the most satisfying feelings is to make progress. Habit trackers and other forms of visual measurements can make your habits more satisfying by providing clear evidence of your progress. “Don’t break the chain”: Instagram is a habit tracker for me (“visual reading progress”) and to keep a streak alive (“posting at set intervals”)

———

⚖️ VERDICT:

The one-stop-shop for habit building.

———

4/5

——-

⁉️ What habit did you build that you are proud of?!⁉️

For more book reviews and good reads, check out the Reading Lists!

Thoughts on: Never Spilt the Difference by Chris Voss

Except for a few naturals, most of us hates negotiation at first. We get nervous, our hands sweat and our thinking breaks down.
——-
But it’s not really the person across the table that scares us; it’s conflict itself.
Humans are made for living in tribes and getting along with the group is a natural priority for most of us.
——-
I’m avoid conflict. I avoid negotiation.
——
“The first step to achieving a mastery of daily negotiation is to get over your aversion to negotiating.”
——-
This book changed my view of negotiation; I’m now in love with it! And a mostly due to the fact that we created Book Club/Implementation Group around this book where really put the tactics into immediate use in real life situation alongside our theoretilcal studies.
——-
📝 The Pinocchio Effect: The number of words grows with lies. When people lie they use more words.
——-
📝 “No, is the start of negotiation, not the end of it.” The truth of this simple statement became clear to me when I payed attention to how I negotiated with my son. Once I had said “no” to one of his request was usually the time when I would opened myself to hearing him out. That’s when I was ready to consider the possibles and we could work something out together.
——-
📝 The real meaning of ‘no’:
🔸I’m not yet ready to agree.
🔹You are making me feel uncomfortable.
🔸I do not understand.
🔹I don’t think I can afford it.
🔸I want something else.
🔹I need more information.
🔸I want to talk it over with someone else.
——-
⭐️ TAKEAWAY:
The Accusation Audit is a favorite tool of mine that I used a lot recently (swipe for example). “You make a list of every unreasonable, unfair, crazy, ridiculous accusation your gut instincts are picking up that the other side might say about you.” When we acknowledging negatives they lose their power.
———
⚖️ VERDICT:
If Atomic Habits is the definite book on habit building than this is definite book on negotiation. It can seem a bit manipulative, but if you see past that—and make an effort to use the tools in this book in everyday life with no delay—then it might be the most valuable reading you will do this year.
——
4/5
——-
⁉️ What are your favorite negotiation tactic?⁉️


For more amazing reading experiences then check out my Reading List!

Thoughts on: “The Netocrats” by Bard & Söderqvist

I tried to explain this book to a colleague before christmas break; how it utterly fashinated me, even though I feel I only understood it partly, and how it had provided me with a new lens with which to see the world.

It must have caught his interest, cuz when I got back to work we had lunch and he told me he had devoured the book and was working his way through another work by the same authors, Digital Libido, and was enthusiastically urging me to do the same.

The book, written in 2000, talks about a new paradigm. The transition from capitalism to informationalism in the wake of the internet era and how, like any genuine revolution means that the whole Darwinian system of punishment and rewards are restructured, introducing a new over and underclass.

The idea of this new system, the Netocracy, was invented in the 90:s is re-invented in this book by contemporary Internet philosophers Alexander Bard and Jan Söderqvist.

———

📝 Before we ran away from strangers that looked strong. Now we engage them and gain mutual benefits.

——

📝 The Consumtariat: Consumption rather than production is the role of the new underclass.

——

📝 Politicians are selected based on their value as entertainment and what narrative they can fit into. They are elected to to feed the headlines.

——

📝 Money will follow attention, not vice versa. The only hard currency on the net is attention.

——-

📝 Knowledge, contacts and exclusive information replaces capital for the netocrat.

——-

📝 “Technology plays its own hand”

Take the clock: innocent enough of an artifact. But this infernal little machine, with its introduction of second and minutes, have retrospectively given a whole new meaning to our perception of time.

———

📝 “Giving birth is simply not fashionable anymore.”

——-

⭐️ TAKEAWAY:

Great book to read before reflecting on how to navigate the 3rd decade of the 21st century. Is what you do professionally raising in value or is it losing its value in this new paradigm?

——

⚖️ VERDICT:

A must-read and total mindf*ck. Being outdated is one of the strengths of this book. Because now, 20 years after the books release, we can see its predictions manifest in everyday life.

5/5

Check out my Reading Lists for more great books!

Thoughts on: A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Time travel, the beginning of the universe, wormholes and string theory. Considering the complexity of some of these topics it is strange that the book has become an international bestseller. Though, I read somewhere that it is one of the most gifted books; but also the least read.


📝 Children dare to ask questions adults don’t: “Why do we remember the past and not the future.” 👶 Be more like a child.


📝 “The increase of disorder or entropy is what distinguishes the past from the future, giving a direction to time.” 🕰


📝 “There could be whole antiworlds and antipeople made out of antiparticles.” My mother used to say that I shouldn’t be so “anti” everything to me when I was a teen. I guess I was one of the antipeople Hawkingtaled about. 👩🏽‍🎤


However, if you meet your antiself, don’t shake hands! You would both vanish in a great flash of light.


✅ TO DO LIST FOR MANKIND: Come up with a complete and consistent theory that combines quantum mechanics and gravity.


⭐️ Most fascinating to me was to learn about the Event Horizon, which is the boundaries of a Black Hole, and Thermodynamic Arrow of Time.


⚖️ VERDICT:

I have read it twice now and it was actually harder to follow the second time. Probably because I did it on audio and the complicated ideas—at least for my limited understanding—made more sense when they where accompanied by pictures, graphs and illustrations. It think there are more accessible books on the topic that N00bs like me should prioritize. The book is too much at times.

3/5


What your favorite book in the genre⁉️

(For me it’s probably Deep Simplicity, a fantastic book about what happens at the edge of chaos. Check it out!)

For more more great reads and insights–check out the Reading Lists.

Thoughts on: The Life of Greece by Will Durant

When I first posted my goal of making Ancient Greece the focus of my studies this year, I someone cautioned me that it might be too much to deal with in such a short time.

It was only after getting a few hours into this book that I understood what she/he meant: it’s impossible to take all this in within a year. It would take a decade to cover only one aspect of Greek civilization fully; lifetimes to cover it all! Ramming everything into my head was like trying to catching a waterfall with a bucket.

I changed my approach to the book and saw it as a buffet. I got a small taste of everything and noted down where I wanted to explore more.

Now I’m looking for further reading on:


📖 Pericles, “the most complete man Greece ever produced.” Big words. I want to know more.

📖 Diogenes, he lived the cynic lifestyle to the fullest. Fascinating man! Did you know that there is a condition known as Diogenes Syndrome? It’s characterized by extreme self-neglect, social withdrawal and lack of shame.

📖 Sparta: The crazy strict and tough lifestyle intrigues me. Is David Goggins actually the last Spartan?

📖 Archimedes: “Don’t disturb my circles!”. From Levers, to Pi, to the formula for calculating the surface area of a sphere, but also: war machines! I need to know more about this genius.

📖 The March of the Ten Thousand: Durant calls it “one of the great adventures in human history”. 🧐


📝 Schliemann: A crazy archeologist, obsessed with The Iliad, and determined to uncover Troy. Which he did!


💭 🤷‍♂️ Checking one book of the Reading List and you end up with an even longer list…


⚖️ VERDICT:

“Greek civilization is alive. it moves in every breath of mind that we breath. So much of it remains that none of us in one lifetime could absorb it all.”

As I reach the summary and conclusion of this book I’m in awe and my eyes tearing up in gratitude for this beautiful account of life in Greece.

4/5


Whose your favorite among the ancient Greeks? ⁉️🤔

For more great Non Fiction– check out my Reading Lists

Thoughts on: “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Joe Dispenza

“Your thoughts have consequences so great that they create your reality.”

How did that quote make you feel? Did you throw up a little in your mouth, or did you get intrigued to know more? That feeling is probably a good indicator for how you feel about this book.

Reality creation and manifestation books comes in a lot of different flavors—the Secret, Transurfing, the Kybalion—this book is attempting scientific route to manifestation.

I have a paradoxical relationship with “reality creation”. I kinda cringe at the explanation of how it works, but at the same time I have seen it work over and over again in my own life and others. So I really don’t care how it works, just that it does. Your attitude and inner state matters.


📝 “When we are truly focused and singleminded the brain doesn’t know the difference between the internal world of the mind and what we experience in the external environment” 💭

📝 Mentally rehearsing an activity gives almost the same growth of neural connections as physical practice. This fact blows my mind every time I hear it. 🤯

📝 Eliminating the gap between who we are and who we present to the world is probably one of the biggest challenges we face in life.

📝 “To know thyself is to meditate.”


⭐️ TAKEAWAYS:

Not much that can withstand sustained focused human effort. Your attitude changes your reality. The placebo effect is real. You experience changes with you focus (Reticular Activating System).


⚖️ VERDICT:

I can imagine a reality where I have give a lower score, but to be honest, it was a great reminder of the importance of ones attitude towards life and that we don’t have to re-live the same emotions and experiences day after day. The power of one’s inner state is real, even if I’m not as sure as Dr Dispenza about the specifics.

4/5


What is your favorite books in the genre and what’s you thoughts on manifestation?⁉️

Photo credit: @whitneyalamb

For more great books check out my Reading Lists.

Thoughts on: “Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race” by Reni Eddo-Lodge

I don’t think much about race, why would I? Im a white man. I’m the norm. Have you ever played a video game with a character selection screen? I’m the default character.

The book was an emotional rollercoaster of self-reflection. It left my head spinning and I realized how little time I’ve spent contemplating the question of race.


📝 “How can I define white privilege? It’s so difficult to describe an absence. And white privilege is an absence of the consequences of racism.”…“Absence of structural discrimination. Absence of ‘less likely to succeed because of my race’.”

📝 Reflection: I get suspicious when Twitterstorms are used to prove a point in books. Twitter is usually not a good representation of society as a whole.

📝 Reflection: Dividing people into groups has a purpose, I guess, especially when you want to highlight problems like structural racism. But where does it end? Reni talks about white feminists vs. black feminists vs mixed feminist etc etc. If the goal is to unite, then why this obsession with division?

📝 Reflection: What about evolutionary psychology? “Us” vs. “Them”-dichotomies has existed for millions of years. And we tend to like people who are like us. Evolutionary it makes sense; Similar individuals are more likely to share copies of each other’s genes. It would be interesting see this perspective in a book like this one. But then maybe I should look for books written by professors rather than journalists.


⭐️ TAKEAWAY:

My main takeaways was to learning more about what Eddo-Lodge calls “white privilege”, and also getting a rather overdue reminder that structural racism is still going strong today.


⚖️ VERDICT:

I didn’t enjoy the book; maybe it was the angry tone, the stereotyping or what felt like generalizations (or maybe it’s my ‘whiteness’ that put me in a defensive mode). It left me with a lot to think about. I appreciate that. The book is at its best when it catches you off-guard and challenge your assumptions and beliefs!


3/5

What book challenged you recently?

Check out my Reading Lists for more great books!

Thoughts on: Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse

This was the right book at the wrong time for me. I can see myself loving it 10 years ago, when I was had a more gloomy and cynical outlook on life, I can hear myself saying, “This book really gets it”. (It don’t miss those days. 😂)

While I can still see the qualities; the complexity, the prose etc.., I just don’t connnect fully with the existential crisis of the middle aged misanthrope, Haller, around which the story revolves.

Part of me wanted to go up to him and shake some life into the man. “Wake up, go dance! Have a laugh for Christ sake!” And well.. thats just what the characters around him tried to do, whether it was Mozart and Goete (we are dealing with a mix of fictive and historical character in true Hesse fashion..) or Hellers object of desire, a girl named Hermine (his anima?!).

📝 “You are willing to die, you coward, but not to live”.

📝 “For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity.” This reminds me of McCandless notion from ‘Into The Wild.

⚖️ VERDICT:

I love me some Hesse— Siddhartha and Damien being two of my favorite novels of all time—but I didn’t fully resonate with Steppenwolf. It’s a solid classic nevertheless!

⭐️ TAKEAWAY:

We need to laugh more! Have you ever gauged how many times you laugh out loud each day?

Which is your favorite Hermann Hesse novels?

3/5

(ps… looking for my next classic. I’m looking for recommendations!)

Check out my Reading Lists for more great books!