Nonfiction book recommendations and inspiring stories about how you can implement what you learn from personal development books into your life through experiments. A practical guide to lifelong learning through reading with a focus self growth and human nature.
Is fear of being judged and rejected holding you back from greatness? . In this book we get to follow Jia Jiang crazy rejection journey to desensitize himself and build resilience through an experiment he called: 100 Days of Rejection. ——- The idea of rejection therapy is simple but powerful: get rid of fear of rejection by putting yourself in situations where you are very likely to be rejected. Do it on a regular basis. The frequent exposure to rejection is meant to desensitize you from the pain and shame rejection often bring. ——- 📝 “…people who, like me, viewed rejection as something so painful, so personal, and so negative that they would rather not ask for things, rather conform to the norm, and rather not take risks just to avoid the possibility of rejection.
📝 ”The worst part is that the “what if’s” that lingered in their mind were often caused by themselves because they didn’t even ask or didn’t even try.”
📝 The most common regret of the dying: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” . 📝 As we grow older we learn that we can’t always get what we want. But sometimes the pendulum swings to far and we get overly careful and timid. “When the time is right” we will ask, but the “right timing” never comes. . 📝 Use rejection as a tool to learn, adopt and improve. . ⭐️ TAKEAWAY By doing rejection challenges myself I realized that rejection and judgment was a bigger issue for me than I originally thought. I also quickly learned that exposure to rejection quickly builds confidence and lessen the fear. Furthermore I was surprised with how many say “Yes” when you ask. How much have I missed out on because I didn’t dare to ask?!
⚖️ VERDICT: The book is not a masterpiece. It feels like a collection of blog posts and writing style didn’t speak to me. But the idea of voluntarily seeking out rejection to build resilience and crush fear is powerful. Well, as long as you not just read about it, but take action that is! . 2/5 . ⁉️Are you your biggest obstacle sometimes?⁉️
This video explains why I started the VIDEO LAB initiative. Video Lab is a safe environment for you to start experimenting with creating video content for social media or level up the skill you already have.
In this day and age, communication through video is a key skill to attain and Video Lab exists to help you hone your skills so that you can cut through the noise and deliver your message with clarity and confidence.
We have weekly events where we present our videos and feedback on each others work. If you want to know more, then check out the Video Lab introduction page and sign up for your own speaking journey.
This is a new video series where share the most influential books I’ve read. The books that changed my mindset, my worldview, and my way of living.
Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker was one of my favorite books last year. A Wake up call to the importance of sleep. It was not just a phenomenal book but also triggered a lot of changes in my life: . 1️⃣ I reconsidered my caffeine and alcohol habits. . 2️⃣ I Increased my sleeping hours. . 3️⃣ I sleep more to get more done rather than skip sleep to work more hours. . 4️⃣ I use sleep to boost creativity. . . —————————————— ⏰ Reasons for 8h Sleep: – Live longer. – Enhances memory. – Makes you more creative. – Makes you look more attractive. – Keeps you slim and lowers food cravings. – It protects you from cancer and dementia. – It walls of colds & the flue. – It lowers your risk of heart attacks and stroke and diabetes. – You’ll feel happier and less depressed and less anxious. . . . ⁉️What book triggered change in your life?⁉️
Children of today are confident and powerful, This calls for powerful boundaries. . The phase of Omnipotence (14 months to around 2 years) is when children haven’t yet discovered that others have willpower too. A stage of conflict. . Today’s children exits this phase less fully than previous generations. The longer a child stay in this phase after the age of 3 the higher the risk of developing behaviors what could be diagnosed as a disorder. Something we in the west likes to threat with chemicals. 💊 . Joes doesn’t think this have to be the case. Instead should coach kids through the omnipotence phase by setting firm boundaries with clear consequences. . 📝 “This is just the way he/she is.” Maybe not. Look at the childs environment. Is there anything that encourages the child’s behavior? How are the adults acting? . 📝 “The accumulation of so many moments when adults has yielded their wishes and desires to the wishes and desires of the child results in an imbalance towards children developing power over connection.” . 📝 Rather small consequence immediately, than big consequences in the future. A 1-min pause now is a better consequence than canceling a cinema visit next week. . 📝 Children need to learn to deal with the frustrations of not getting what they want. . 📝 If your home is a place of unlimited choices, then don’t be surprised if your kid doesn’t like school! . 📝 “Giving children choices about some things is fine. But there should be many things during a child’s day when they don’t have a choice.” . 📝 It’s common to reason too much with toddlers. For toddlers action mean more than words.
💥 IMPLEMENTATION: I picked up this book because I looked help me with some issues I had with my 4 year old sons behavior; Not listening, hitting and throwing tantrums for not getting what he wanted. I used the technique from this book— the action-consequences, pauses, and even holding when my son threw real tantrums. It really worked and we have a much calmer home situation now. Most importantly, my son seems more calm, happy and confident. 😀
⭐️ TAKEAWAY: The parents job is to make sure inappropriate behavior has no reward. Be the coach not the opponent. Most importantly: “Always do what you say, 100 percent of the time”. . ⚖️ VERDICT: To the point and filled with great examples. A worthy read for parents and teachers who struggle with behavior problems. But be aware: I’m easily impressed, especially when it’s the first time I read something in a new genre. I guess if this book worked in -8 years or so 18 years or so!😂 . 4/5 . ⁉️Do you have children?!⁉️ . 📷: @nixiegraham
The idea of Rejection Therapy is to get rid of fear and aversion of rejection by putting yourself in situations where you are very likely to be rejected and do it on a regular basis. The frequent exposure to rejection is meant to desensitize you from the pain and shame rejection often bring. . I am not the same person coming out of this experiment as when it started. Not that I’m totally fearless now or anything. No, my key insight has a slightly different angle. My main takeaway is that amazing things can happen if just ask for things we want. To be honest, many of the most noteworthy and memorable experiences I’ve had the last couple of months comes as a result of this challenge.
Here are a few highlights from my month of rejection.
. ⭐️🍊 I asked to help out refilling the fruit court in the local store. The oranges became my responsibility.
⭐️🍕 I ordered myself a pizza and asked if I could get it in a perfect square shape. The pizza man said he would do what he could to achieve it. When I picked up the pizza I was meet with a smile by the man behind the counter. He told me it had been a challenge for him, but he sure sounded happy with the result. He thanked me for making his day more interesting. Haha!
⭐️👕 I contacted t-shirt company, of which I’m a big fan of, and asked them to sponsor me with clothes. I estimated an 85% rejection probability. Now, a few week later, we have set up a partnership and I just received a shit ton of awesome t-shirts in the mail!
⭐️📖I contacted the super entrepreneur and author of Oversubscribed and Key Person of Influence, Daniel Priestly, and asked him to do a shoutout for my book club. We where just about to study his latest book. He said yes!
⭐️TAKEAWAY⭐️ What I failed with in this experiment was to be rejected. I didn’t do wierd enough asks, I reckon. BUT I was surprised how many wonderful things, big and small, can happen if we just dare to ask. It almost makes me regret that I didn’t realize this earlier. How many experienced have I missed because I never asked?! 😀 . ⁉️Are you letting fear of rejection limit you in your life ⁉️
What can we do today to kick start the survival circuits* that makes us stronger and prolong our lives?
Applying stresses to our bodies can be efficient way for activating these rejuvenating systems. It seems that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger has some merit.
In short, you want to make your body uncomfortable on a regular basis: Extreme temperatures: – take a brisk walk in the cold of winter in a t-shirt. (good for practicing gratitude towards warm clothes as well’) – Use saunas. – Cold baths. – Sleep with the window open on cold nights. Calorie restriction: – Eat less. – Try fasting from time to time. – Skip breakfast once in a while.
Get moving! – High intensity interval training is the most time efficient way to get a good workout. – People who excerice the equivalent of jogging for 30 minutes, 5 days a week, have telomere that look to be almost a decade younger than their sedentary counterparts. – Exercise doesn’t have to be long (10-15 min) but the intensity matters.
⁉️What do you do up you chances of a long and healthy life?⁉️ . . . . .
* “It is a system that has been in our cells for a long time. It’s in all life on the planet. And it serves to keep us alive for longer, healthier for longer, when we’re under threat. So when we are doing a bit of exercise, if you run out of breath on the treadmill, that ‘s good. If you’re hungry; you skip breakfast and have a late lunch, that’s good. That will raise NAD levels. So the NAD (Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide) chemical in your body will go up and your sirtuins — these protective enzymes, the main players in the survival circuit — will get activated.” – D. Sinclair.
Holidays keys to stillness has been inspired by the wisest people and the best of literature, and gives prime examples of people who embodies them—and those who fail to do so. . There is not anything new here. Rather the opposite is true. The sources he draws from are old, even ancient. But the book doesn’t feel dated. Instead it feels timeless and yet very applicable to our modern life. . ⭐️ FIND STILLNESS ⭐️ . 📱Limit Your Inputs: Napoleon was always weeks behind on his mail. He was surprised how many urgent problems had already been resolved ones got to them. . 📖 Read Deeply and Regularly: Tolstoy: “I cant believe how some people can live without communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on planet earth.” . 💪🏻 Act Bravely: “High minded thoughts and inner work is one thing, but all that matters is what you do”. The health of our spiritual ideals depends on what we do with our bodies in moments of truth. I need to work on this one… . 👁 Be present: “Be present. And if you have had trouble with this in the past, That’s ok. That’s the nice thing about the present, it keeps showing up to give you a second chance.” . 🔁 Rituals “A master has a system, a master turns the ordinary into the sacred. And so must we.” What’s rituals are sacred to you? What systems keep you on track? . 🌅 Notice Beauty: there is beauty in..”a floor filled with a kids toys arranged in the chaos of exhausted enjoyment.” This mindset will come in handy on my parents leave. 😂 . 🏕 Solitude with Purpose: Take some time to be alone with important work, or just to study a subject deeply, or ponder? 💥 Action: Booked my next Reflection Week for Sep. . 📦 Get rid of stuff! Reducing your needs to zero, and you are truly free; and nothing can be taken away from you. (But don’t go full Diogenes!) . 🤤 Beware of Desire: Desire is like a hydra; satisfy one, and two more grows in its place. Epicurus: “Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.” . ⚖️ VERDICT: To be re-read yearly. It snapped me out of the busyness of everyday life and provided perspective to my priorities. . 4/5 . . ⁉️How do you cultivate stillness in your life?⁉️ . 📸 @veraciousreader (Instagram)
For more reviews and book tips check out my reading lists
Now Rousseau is getting interesting! Imagine yourself a man of intellect, before the Darwinian theory, speculating about man in his naturals state before the burden of civilization was put on his/her shoulders. ——- In Rousseau vision, natural man was a carefree and happy loner, peacefully roaming the woods. Picking apples to eat from the trees as he went, slept when tired, and running in to a specimen of the opposite sex- they lay. A existence without a worry and a world of abundance. ——- We are so used to the comparison of early mans conditions to chimpanzees that it becomes absolutely fascinating to hear another version of the story. ——- 📝 Sex, yes please? If men and women met in the forest, they had sex and then walked their separate ways. The women raised the child until it was old enough to take care of itself and he/she went of on their own; another noble savage free to roam alone in peace and fulfillment. ——— 📝 Inequality comes when man exits his natural state and come together with other people and starts to compare himself to the in terms of skill and possessions. ——- 🔥 4 ROUSSEAU-OIDS: 🔥 🥖 – Argued for a return to breastfeeding in an era where the activity was outsourced by the well to do. “Breastfeed, and morals will come by themselves” was his message. 🥖 – Emotions rather than deeds! Father of romanticism. 🥖 – The noble savage. Rousseau, like many people during the age of discovery, was fascinated by the native tribes found throughout the world. He also realized what civilization did to these “savages”. 🥖 – He invented the word “bourgeoisie” ——- ⚖️ VERDICT: This book is much more interesting than The Social Contract; more entertaining, much less sober, and a certainty more naive! ——— ⭐️ TAKEAWAY: I’m more of a Hobbesian view as it stands right now. Rousseau’s Noble Savage with it carefree existence sounds too utopian to me. Life in its natural state described as “nasty, brutish and short” sound more plausible. Maybe I’m just having a bad day? Also, I haven’t read Hobbes (yet!) ———— 3/5 ———- ⁉️Rousseau or Hobbes?⁉️
Sometimes the idea of having read a book is more exciting than actually reading it. That’s the case with The Social Contract. ——— But “fun” and “easy” is seldom what we strive for in our quest for understanding. I knew this would be challenge to get through the works of the major thinkers of the history of the world. ——— That said; after finishing the book ,and with a few YouTube lectures in the bag, I feel it was an endeavor worth the effort. ——- Here are some notes: ——- 📝 With the SOCIAL CONTRACT man loses his natural liberty—the strength of the individual—in exchange for civil liberty: which is limited to the GENERAL WILL. ——— 📝 What is this GENERAL WILL? The will of the people as a whole. The common good. ——— 📝 Rousseau: “It’s always in times of crisis that laws are easily passed that would never have passed the scrutiny of the public otherwise.” (Paraphrased) Sweden today: Laws have been changed to give the government power circumvent parliament, enabling them to act faster in the battle against CoVid-19 crisis. 🦠 ——- 📝 Wise men/women can come up with concepts and ideas that the public doesn’t understand and will therefor not stand behind. This is where the divine is called upon. We use “the gods” to make the laws seem natural. By turning the laws of men, into laws of nature. 🌳 ——— ⭐️ TAKEAWAY: The big takeaway for me does not come from the book, BUT from what I realized about myself by reading it. I have the ability to read and understand the big thinkers and learn from them (with some occasional help from YouTube lectures). I can turn books like this one into building blocks in the puzzle of the history of thought. ——- I’m super pumped to continue this exploration of human thought journey! Learning about Hobbes and Locke. Kierkegaard and Nietzsche. All the rest! —— When I’m old and grey I might actually have insightful philosophical lessons to share to the deaf ears of my grandchildren 😂 👴🏻 🧐 ——- 2/5 ——- ⁉️What big thinkers are on your list to study?⁉️