Experiment: 30 Days of Rejection Challenges and it’s Surprising Results

Can daily exposure to situations where we might be rejected build courage and desensitize from feeling of pain and shame?

The idea of Rejection Therapy is to get rid of fear and aversion of rejection by putting yourself in situations where you are very likely to be rejected and do it on a regular basis. The frequent exposure to rejection is meant to desensitize you from the pain and shame rejection often bring.
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I am not the same person coming out of this experiment as when it started. Not that I’m totally fearless now or anything. No, my key insight has a slightly different angle. My main takeaway is that amazing things can happen if just ask for things we want. To be honest, many of the most noteworthy and memorable experiences I’ve had the last couple of months comes as a result of this challenge.

Here are a few highlights from my month of rejection.

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⭐️🍊 I asked to help out refilling the fruit court in the local store. The oranges became my responsibility.

⭐️🍕 I ordered myself a pizza and asked if I could get it in a perfect square shape. The pizza man said he would do what he could to achieve it. When I picked up the pizza I was meet with a smile by the man behind the counter. He told me it had been a challenge for him, but he sure sounded happy with the result. He thanked me for making his day more interesting. Haha!

⭐️👕 I contacted t-shirt company, of which I’m a big fan of, and asked them to sponsor me with clothes. I estimated an 85% rejection probability. Now, a few week later, we have set up a partnership and I just received a shit ton of awesome t-shirts in the mail!

A few weeks after my outlandish ask, a box full of clothes landed on my doorstep.


⭐️📖I contacted the super entrepreneur and author of Oversubscribed and Key Person of Influence, Daniel Priestly, and asked him to do a shoutout for my book club. We where just about to study his latest book. He said yes!

⭐️TAKEAWAY⭐️
What I failed with in this experiment was to be rejected. I didn’t do wierd enough asks, I reckon. BUT I was surprised how many wonderful things, big and small, can happen if we just dare to ask. It almost makes me regret that I didn’t realize this earlier. How many experienced have I missed because I never asked?! 😀
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⁉️Are you letting fear of rejection limit you in your life ⁉️

Experiment: A Week of Reflection, Stillness And Planning.

How can a week of planning and reflection help you steer your ship the right direction?

One thing that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time is to take a week each year where I focus solely on reflection and planning.
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Ideally, this would be a week where I locked myself in a cabin, alone, with a few note pads, a pen, and some carefully chosen reading material. Isolated and disconnected.
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The stay would help me realign, reflect and evaluate the year that’s gone by and what to do with the months ahead.
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This has not been working out with my current life situation. But you can’t wait for ideal conditions because then nothing will ever get done. Therefore I will do a scaled down version of the project this year.
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⭐️ THE SETUP: ⭐️
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🔸 1 week of focus.
🔹 Start off with a day, alone, at a spa hotel to slow things down. (Best Christmas gift!! Thanks!).
🔸 Very Limited Internet use.
🔹 All down time dedicated to meditation, reflection, planning.
🔸8 hours of sleep for optimal creativity.
🔹Limited input from books, podcasts, tv etc.
🔸Limited output in terms of content creation, messaging, DM:s and everything else. (Have prepped 😉).
🔹 No alcohol.
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⭐️ DESIRED OUTCOME: ⭐️

🔸 A detailed 6-months strategy.
🔹 Review of journals, notes and events from the last 12 months.
🔸 Tons of ideas for new projects.
🔹 A deeper understanding of where I’m heading.
🔸Updated and re-evaluated short, mid and long term goals in all aspects of life (Health, Wealth, Relationships and Purpose)
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In 2021 I’ll do the real thing with cabin and whole shebang 😉 (No, not the punk band. I’m doing this alone.)
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⁉️ How do you ensure you are steering your ship in the right directions? What tools do you use? ⁉️

How did it go? Here is the full report!

Challenge: Public Speaking – Getting over the aversion of speaking in front of a crowd.

“All great speakers where bad speakers at first.” – Emerson.

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Fear of public in front of a crowd is not a problem if you don’t plan to share anything. But a lot of us can clearly see the value of transmitting our knowledge verbally but struggle with stage anxiety or inability to communicate efficiently.

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The Lab Report – 014 – “Public Speaking”

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THE MISSION:

To combat my aversion towards public speaking I joined a speaking club, Toastmasters, with the goal of writing and presenting 10 speeches in front of a room full of people.

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SHORT TERM EFFECTS: ⭐️⭐️

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– People at the club was friendly and supportive. Seeing me maybe reminded them of of what a mess they where when they started out.

– it was dreadful the days before my speeches. I noticed myself wanting to practice all the time and I became irritable when I couldn’t.

– The day of the speech I couldn’t concentrate at work at all.

– The feeling after the speech was an endorphine high!

– I struggled in all aspects; picking subject, structure, gestures, delivery.

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THE PROCESS: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

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– An endeavor like this demands a huge energy investment. It takes a lot of time to prepare a speech.

– The learning curve is enjoyable. For each speech you feel a noticeable improvement.

– There is advantages is to seeing yourself on video. How you imagine yourself acting and sounding are not always aligned with reality.

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LONG TERM EFFECTS: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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– Finally, after 10 speeches, I can see myself as someone who can stand in front a crowd. And it doesn’t make my stomach turn.

– I can communicate with more clarity, I use the tools I’ve learned to get, and keep, peoples attention to a greater degree than before.

– I’m less bothered about being in the center of attention.

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FINAL VERDICT: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Taking care of my anxiety around public speaking is one of the best decisions of my life. It’s benefits and the way it changes your self-perceptions spills out to other aspects of life. —

I still got ways to go, but it’s a start!

⁉️What anxieties limits you? 🤔⁉️

More experiments right here!

New Experiment: Trying out Hunting

I have had my hunting license since 2000; I never used it! I have made two video games about hunting; I’ve never been out hunting!

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When my father-in-law who is a dedicated hunter realized I had a license lying around then things got real. He became very excited about this and wanted to show me the ropes. I complied.

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Regardless how you feel about hunting it has been a big apart of human life for a long time. Probably longer than other classic activities like prostitution, tax collecting and the elder complaining about the laziness of the young.

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The hunting I took part in was for small game with dog handlers: roe deer, hogs, fox and hare.

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🔸 I see a lot of similarities between a Zen meditation introductory course I took once and this hunting experience. Sitting alone, in silence—yet it’s a group activity. And both experiences includes pauses with hot beverages. Though, I assume, the crew I hung out with would probably dismiss a meditation session as hippie nonsense.

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🔹 Nature is so quite. All I can hear is my tinnitus.

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🔸 Holy shit, the pulse went way up when two deers approached me within shotgun range.

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⚖️ VERDICT:

The overall experience was really cool. Especially since I was the only one on the team who saw animals. Unfortunately I was such a N00b I didn’t realize that when the dogs barked; then it was time to pay attention! Instead I poured coffee and ate sandwiches while the prey came my way 🤦‍♂️.

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I loved the nature experience and the thrill of the hunt. But I need to do some deep thing long about the ethics of it. On the one hand it is a much cleaner way of getting meat than through the meat industry; but I’m not sure eating meat is ok at all? (though I blissfully ignore this inner hypocrisy daily as I stuff my face with meat.) 🍖 . And could I even pull the trigger?

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Another experience knocked of the bucket list! ✅

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⁉️What are you knocking off your bucket list this year?! ⁉️

(Ps. No, I didn’t kill anything, except preconceived notions about what hunting is about.)

You can find more experiments here!

Fasting: A 36 Hour Experiment

“What the eyes are for the outer world, fasts are for the inner.” – Mahatma Gandhi


My rules where these:

One week of intermittent fasting (18:6), as a warm-up, then a 36 hour fast. During fast I only drank water and tea.


Observations (intermittent fasting)

  • A perk is that fasting becomes a daily expression and practice of self control and awareness. It’s very easy pick up something to eat without it being a conscious decision.
  • Saturday: noticing I’m fantasizing about food at 10.25 am. Woke up at 7:00 am.
  • I have bad breath 😷 even after brushing between 10 am and lunch time.
  • I have noticeably less energy than usual from 11 am and onward.

Observations (36 hour fast):

  • Fasting is a huge time saver. No eating frees up time.
  • Glad I didn’t have any addictions during the experiment. It would have made it much harder. I did feel any cravings at all.
  • Got sick directly after ending my fast (the flue).
  • Keeping yourself busy was key. I spend the evening cooking that day.
  • Having a warm up week was probably a good choice.

⭐️ TAKEAWAY:

My biggest takeaway is just the fact that I managed to go without food for 36 hours. Just like my experiment with not drinking for a day it sounded like a true challenge but ended up being fairly managedble. My self image has been altered.


⚖️ VERDICT: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Try a 36 hours fast! Especially if you think it would be impossible for you to pull it of. It’s interesting to surprise oneself ones in a while. As for intermittent fasting, I don’t think it’s very noteworthy unless you’re intrigued by health benefits its proponents rave about. 😊.

⁉️ What are you experimenting with these days?

Check out Experiments for more Lab Reports!

New Experiment: 60 Days of Non-Resistance

NEW EXPERIMENT


1️⃣WHY?

I don’t get annoyed too often but when I do get stingy it is usually due to unexpected events messing up my beloved routines.

I have pretty strict routines related to:

– Wake up/bed times

– Workout

– Meditation

– Social media usage

– Study/reading

In life it’s usually not the big things that get to me—I got those under control— it’s the small stuff! Sudden change of plans, interruptions and unforeseen disruptions.

An experiment in acceptance and non-resistance is in order!


3️⃣WHAT?

Non-resistance is about letting things unfold as they do. Life is a mess. Instead being frustrated by trying to control people and situations I’ll accept things be as they inevitably are. of Roll with the punches, aikido, go with the flow…You get it.

To offer no resistance to life you feel light and at ease. You’re no longer dependent on thing being a certain way. When your dependency on outer form disappears the conditions of your life improve greatly…at least that’s what they say. Let’s try it out!


3️⃣ WHEN?

In Progress. I chose my timing well; Here are some things that’s going on right now:

– We have a new born baby.

– My 4-year old has chicken pox.

– I’m have a cold.

– I have some kind of ass injury that cause me pain.

– I’m starting a new project at work.

Like all my experiments I will follow up with a Lab Report. Wish me luck!


Related reading:

📖 A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle 📖

📖 A Guide to the Good Life – Irvine 📖


How do you deal with the sh*t life throws at you? 🤔

Lab Report: Meditation -The First 6 Months

“If you continue to this simple practice everyday you will attain a wonderful power. Before you attain it, it is something wonderful, but after you attain it, it is nothing special.” – Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki

The Lab Report – 008 – “Meditation: The First 6 Month”

For me these first 6 months was about establishing the habit of sitting daily. With that now in place it’s time to take it to the next level.

Instead of counting both inhalations and exhalations I’m now moving on to counting only my out-breath. The end goal is to not count at all, but that’s when I built up my ability to concentrate enough.


Mid term effects: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

– I still dose off from time to time.

– Resistance to the practice and boredom is no longer an issue.

– I had a mystical experience (a positive one) when I was a the peak of frustration and boredom with the practice (day 130). I can’t really share the details.


Long term effects: ❓❓❓

– Still unknown. I’m aiming for doing 365 consecutive days in this experiment. It’s still to early to tell.


Sustainability: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

– The habit has become automatic. I have missed 3 days so far which leaves me with a 98,3% success rate. Now I just need to find time to sit for longer sessions.

– Meditation time is in direct competition with my reading time.


FINAL VERDICT: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

I don’t feel the same frustration about the practice that I felt in the beginning. Maybe it’s because I’m back on coffee and therefore don’t dose off as easily? More likely it’s because of habit and the well-being I get from sitting. It’s hard to put finger on the exact benefits but they are there and they are noticeable. I feel more calm, yet alert; more detached, yet more engaged.

What are your daily rituals? 🤔

Check out Lab Reports for more!

Lab Report: Wake up at 5 AM

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” – Ben Franklin

The morning hours are very focused. The brain is recharged and there are no distractions. No phone calls, no children running around, no meeting or unforeseen events to attend. Imagine having done 10k running, 30 min mediation and completed the most important task of the day before the rest of the world has taken their first zip of the morning coffee. That’s what we are trying out in this experiment!


The Lab Report – 007 – “Rise Early”

@BenLaing2 (Instagram) asked me if I would like to join him and a group of peps for a challenge; A challenge to rise at 05:30 am for 66 days straight.


Short term effects: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

– It will take a while to get used to going up on time if you are a converting night owl.

– Motivation be unreliable until established a proper morning routine or if you don’t have a strong “Why” for rising early.

– You will immediately feel the momentum building up as task are getting checked off.


Long term effects: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

– 2 extra focused hours each day for 5 years; that’s 3650 hours of effort you can put towards whatever you find most worthwhile in life.

– You will grow to love the tranquility of the dark hours.

– I have a family of deer I see during my morning run. It had become a nice ritual to say hi to them.


Sustainability: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

– Weekends pose an extra challenge since there is an cultural expectation that we should stay up later then.

– This lifestyle is not compatible with late nights, which could be considered a loss.

– You have to go to bed early for this routine to be sustainable.


FINAL VERDICT: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I never made the full 66-days, but did two good runs of 30(ish) days in a row. Going up early has given me much joy and fulfillment. I love it!


What morning routine do you have, and what is the morning routine that you wished you had? 🤔

You Find More Lab Reports and Experiments Here!

Lab Report: Quitting the News

“If you get your view of the world from the news, you’re always going to think that we’re living in violent times.”

– Steven Pinker

What’s the message of the mainstream media? Be afraid! Stay inside! Out there are Isis, the 1% staling your money and clowns! No wonder we feel anxious and afraid even though we live in the safest era in human history.


The Lab Report – 006 – “Quit the News”

I stopped following the news about 3 years ago. I don’t read any newspapers, I don’t listen to the radio and I don’t follow any blogs or news feeds.

How has this experiment pan out?


Short term effects: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

– “Fear of Missing Out” might haunt you in the beginning – don’t worry, if it’s important (most news aren’t) you will hear about it.

– Fearmonger stories triggers stress and spikes your cortisol. Without these spikes you can enjoy a stronger immune system.


Long term effects: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

– Reduced fear and anxiety.

– Less drama, more focus.

– The media is experts at masking us feel concerned. Being concerned makes us feel like we are doing something while we’re not. Now you freed up time to do shit.


Sustainability: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

– You might work at a job where you’re unable to control news exposure i.e a places where TVs and radios on all the time.

– Social media feeds can be challenging to manage. I solved it by not looking at social media feeds.

– Ones your out off it, and if you pay attention to the positive effects, then it’s very hard to relapse.


FINAL VERDICT: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Quitting the news is the closest thing I’ve found to a silver bullet for improved happiness and inner peace. 👌🏻 ☯️

Of course you should not take my word for it. Think for yourself. And also -what is the counter argument to what I just said? 🧐 🤔

You Find More Lab Reports and Experiments Here!

Lab Report: Growing a Beard

I really like to try new things. actually, I originally started this site to be mainly about different small experiments I conduct (Reading a more books where one of there experiments. I guess that one stuck with me 😂). Here we go:


The Lab Report – 001 – “Beards”


Growing a full beard is something every man should try at least ones in their life if they have the genes for it. Why? Because you fucking can!

I’ve had a few smaller beard variations throughout my life but I’m never gone all the way before. With all the way I mean not shaving for 6 – 12 months (In beard circles this is called a “yeard” or a “half yeard” respectively). So I had to try it out and here is my report:


Short term effects: ⭐️

Itchiness is one downside of growing a beard. But it will pass rather quickly. Worse is the “awkward beard”- stage from about week 8 to month 3. This is the period where your beard looks like a patchy mess and you look like you’ve given up on life. This is where most people give up.


Long term effects: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

– People think you are wiser and more competent. (Probably because bearded men are portrayed in that way in popular culture).

– It’s harder to eat and drink.

– You can stroke your beard while thinking which unlocks extra cognitive abilities.

– Has some protective quality in blizzards.


Sustainability: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

– It takes a fair share grooming to maintain a respectable-looking beard.

– Makes eating greasy food close impossible. (Good or bad depending on you dietary goals)


FINAL VERDICT: ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Beards are great! Go get one!”

You Find More Lab Reports and Experiments Here!