Children of today are confident and powerful, this calls for powerful boundaries.
The phase of Omnipotence (14 months to around 2 years) is when children haven’t yet discovered that others have willpower too. A stage of conflict. .
Today’s children exits this phase less fully than previous generations. The longer a child stay in this phase after the age of 3 the higher the risk of developing behaviors what could be diagnosed as a disorder. Something we in the west likes to threat with chemicals. 💊
Joe’s doesn’t think this have to be the case. Instead should coach kids through the omnipotence phase by setting firm boundaries with clear consequences.
📝 “This is just the way he/she is.” Maybe not. Look at the child’s environment. Is there anything that encourages the child’s behavior? How are the adults acting?
📝 “The accumulation of so many moments when adults has yielded their wishes and desires to the wishes and desires of the child results in an imbalance towards children developing power over connection.”
📝 Rather small consequence immediately, than big consequences in the future. A 1 minute pause NOW is a better consequence than canceling a cinema visit NEXT WEEK.
📝 Children need to learn to deal with the frustrations of not getting what they want.
📝 If your home is a place of unlimited choices, then don’t be surprised if your kid doesn’t like school!
📝 “Giving children choices about some things is fine. But there should be many things during a child’s day when they don’t have a choice.”
📝 It’s common to reason too much with toddlers. For toddlers action mean more than words.
I picked up this book because I looked help me with some issues I had with my 4 year old sons behavior; Not listening, hitting and throwing tantrums for not getting what he wanted.
I used the technique from this book— the action-consequences, pauses, and even holding when my son threw real tantrums. It really worked and we have a much calmer home situation now. Most importantly, my son seems more calm, happy and confident. 😀
The parents job is to make sure inappropriate behavior has no reward. Be the coach not the opponent. Most importantly: “Always do what you say, 100 percent of the time”.
To the point and filled with great examples. A worthy read for parents and teachers who struggle with behavior problems. But be aware: I’m easily impressed, especially when it’s the first time I read something in a new genre. I guess if this book worked in -8 years or so 18 years or so!😂 .